Dress Code Act 2015

An Act to prohibit wrongful dressing; to punish offenders who do not understand their fashion obligation and in the process punish the eyes of little children, tax payers, those who do not pay taxes but have been scarred for life.

PART 1
 Preliminary

  1. (1) This Act may be cited as Dress Code Act. (2) All dress code agreements accepted by the moral peoples of Nigeria. For clarification, dress code does not include the covering for salads and vegetables. (3) This Act shall apply to the Federation of Nigeria — Men and Women.
  2.  In this Act, unless the context otherwise requires — “Dress” means whatever citizens of Nigeria put on to protect their personal dignity and the dignity of the eyes of little children and tax payers whose rights must be protected. Dress in this context will cover “Trousers” means Inverted V shaped piece of cloth or demin that is worn by both male and female Nigerians alike “Skirts” means Clothing specially designed for women. It is strongly percieved as womens clothing. It includes Maxi skirts, midi skirts and mini skirts (Micro-mini skirts) “Gowns” means clothing that covers all part of the human body except the human head which includes jalabia, maxi gowns, midi, gowns and mini gowns worn by men and women in their respective sense. “Shirts” means T-shirts, tops and plain shirts worn by both men and women. “Aso-ebi” means specially designed clothing material worn by friends and well-wishers of the celebrant of an occassion. “Underwear” self-explanatory because, underwear. this includes pants, bras, boxers e.t.c, e.t.c.
  3. This section includes a brief definition/interpretation of certain terms and concepts. “Naked” means exposing love handles and excess fat that should not be seen because the wearer is putting on ill-fitted clothing.  “Sagging” means what the prisoners of America did that later turned out to a fashion mishap. “Excessive skin” means parts of the body that is overly exposed especially in formal places. “Indecent” means dressing in ways that do not fit ones body “Tax Payer” means anyone who is fit to pay tax and actually pays tax. “Children” means those who are fashion infants and know little about the dressing and look up to fashion adults for direction.
  4. (1) A citizen of Nigeria of a particular region, community, university, religion or political opinion shall not by reason only that he is such a person – (a) be subjected either expressely or in the practical application to put on any form of dress that doesn’t fit their body shape, body size or weight. (b) Fashion trend is no excuse to dress indecently. (2) No citizen of Nigeria shall be discriminated based on body size, weight or shape except such person is indecently dressed
  5. Notwithstanding decades of irresponsible dressing by those who think they are fashionably on point; and notwithstanding the rights of citizens whose eyes have been to hell and back, no person shall in the name of fashion disturb the eyes of people with their dress comBination
  6. It shall not count as offence to expose excessive skin in places such as night clubs — because it is night, less light, one’s home, places were little children are not exposed and places that do not affect the well being of tax payers.
  7. Sagging is an highly prohibited even if persons are wearing Calvin Klein.
  8. (1) In a wedding, friends and associates of the bride or groom who are also scouting for life partners shall do so decently in ways that do not take all the guests’ attention from the bride and groom. (2) Friends and female associates of the bride or groom shall not put on white clothing or excessively expose parts of their mammary glands or badonkadonk.
  9. Every citizen has the right to fashion expression and experimentation, except if such expressions lead to indecency
  10. Every citizen is obliged to check out fashion blogs and have fashion icons they can look up to in order to do the right thing and put country first.

PART 2

  Punishment

  1. (1)A fashion tribunal shall be set up to analyse dressing especially that done by celebrities and punish offenders with their serious slanders. (2) In a situation where slander must be released, the intelligence of the offender must be protected and not subject to abuse.
  2. Ill fitted cloth wearers shall be forced to give out ill-fitted clothes to friends and family members better suited for it.
  3. excessive parts Offenders are not fit to walk around the streets that tax payers pay for.
  4. A rehabilitation center shall be set up to give orientation to offenders that while there is freedom to dress expressively and beautifully (Although this is not stated in Chapter IV of the constitution) and to follow fashion trends, it is a great to disturb the eyes of children and tax payers alike.

This post was inspired by Elnathan John’s Generator Use And Abuse Prevention Act, Orbit Greed Prevention Act, Smell And Share plantain Act 2015. Even though i’m sorta fooling around, it is however very important we dress decently. By decently I do not mean in the Nigerian moral context, but decently in ways that do not make people talk about ones body flaws. It is not an attack on women or people on the big side.

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The Trousers — FOR LADIES — Is Not Indecent

Today’s post is for those of you who have been attacked by people for the way you dress, know that I’m with you and have suffered too like you. This phase too shall pass.
I was invited to a graduation ceremony sometime around July this year at a mission school and the dress code for everybody was to dress decent, of course, except that they had their terms for what they considered decent, especially for women. Women were not allowed to go in in trousers of any kind, except gowns and skirts. I could not go in of course because I was putting on a trouser and so I stood outside with the person that invited me to gist for a while about the ridiculousness of the school.

  1. Ridiculousness number one, the law that governs us all as a country doesn’t give to anybody a dress code. Maybe the the executive would have to pass a Dress Code Act (Buhari and friends I hope y’all are reading this) or something because I do not understand what is going on in Nigeria.
  2. Ridiculousness number two, the so called decent gowns and skirts for girls were so not decent especially on the very fat girl I saw in a yellow short dress that did not flatter her size or shape. Plus it was a sunny, breezy day and the breeze kept blowing her short yellow dress away and kept showing us some eye-scarring light-skinned laps.
    I do not know if it is the fear that “The younger generation is loosing morals”. Truth is one way or the other moral ties would depart from Nigeria. Same way it left Europe and the Americas. Oh, but then again, Nigeria is a higly hypocritical nation country.
    I honestly do not understand the need for private schools expecially mission private schools. Parents pay too much money for just little impact. The children are not — IN MY OPINION — half as good as children at public schools. I know how much my father pays for my younger brothers at school. I hear him tell them that the fees he pays in a term is my school fees from Jss1 to SS3 with all the extra charges involved and provisions money. I hear about how students in schools like Covenant, Bowen, Babcock, live double lives. Saints in school and thugs out of school kind of life.
    The children of the school I was visiting were not going to get corrupt by seeing visitors put on trousers and walk around their school. The chairs and tables of the school would not be defiled, except if their school ground is some burning bush spot or something. The women who put on trousers are not the trousers they wear. Trousers have really become convenient for women and has more or less saved some women from rape especially when they want to run. God bless the people that invented trousers — Let’s take a moment to actually pray for them– In fact, my father believes and I too, that when I’m going out and not being drived around with the family, or people I know, I should put on trousers incase I had to run. Besides, most of us were Visitors for goodness sake! Invited by parents and guardians to feliciate with them. Then a school, for reasons best known to them decided to rob people off that joy.
    Then it’s like the men at the post take pride in this job of preventing the ‘offenders’ and then harrass women even more. In my uni today (A public uni btw), a girl was deterred from writing her paper because she wore a long skirt with wedge heels and they deemed her indecent. While a girl putting on leggings and a short top was allowed to enter which was very ridiculous especially for a girl with a very big behind. I’m not judging her dressing, all I’m saying is that comparing both, we can all see who is ‘indecently’ dressed.
    I was deterred to from attending a class once because I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and my ‘armpit was showing’. These men look for nothing but our begging. The derive joy in seeing women beg. I get that their job is really boring and they lash out on us women. I am aware, many girls do not understand the dynamics of dressing and end up dressing in ways that punish the eyes, but it’s truly excessive and irrelevant the way these men treat women.
    The Dos and DON’Ts in my opinion do not add up. People end up becoming who they are supposed to be. It is understandable that some of these schools are ‘Mission’ schools, but most times these rules do not help the students at all. I believe trainning a child begins and ends when the child is in his formative years. A child is well over his formative years when he is passed the age of 13-16 — This of course is debatable.
    Fashion trends will come and go and we women will move with the trend, it is however, our values that make us who we are not the clothes we wear. Nigeria is fast becoming individualistic in nature and this communal attitude of being brothers keeper and telling a child or person what is wrong or right is fast becoming history. It’s best if people held on to their beliefs and live other people to live out theirs. If they are going down a dangerous path there are ways to correct they person not by humiliating them. Bottomline is that indecency is relative and that’s why even in a morally bound country like Nigeria, some parents allow their children put on what others consider disgraceful.
    Public schools have deteriorated, hence the rise of private schools in Nigeria. It is okay to teach good morals and values, however certain ‘values’ are not shared by everyone especially in a society that is culturally drifting to fit perfectly amongst other nations.

My Hair is Dyed So What?

Nigerians are a very judgemental and hypocritical people and this culture isIMG_20150807_190531_edit just beyond me.
So, my hair is dyed red or is it brown now, uggh! I actually do not know what colour it is. Anyway, it was a choice that I made, a choice that MY MOTHER SUPPORTED, a choice that MY FATHER PAID FOR. So why on earth do people care why I have the colour of my hair altered.
Thing is, as humans, we feel troubled when someone decides to be different because we feel our existence threatened. However, by dying my hair to gold or wine or black is no one’s business.
I was going to use the library in my Uni and I carrying my hair in a ‘fro when the security woman stopped me and spoke to me with  great indignation . This convo ensued;
S.W is for security woman.
S.W – “Is this your natural hair?”
ME – “Yes”
S.W -“This is your natural hair?! Your natural hair colour?”
ME – “Oh no, I dyed it.”
S.W – “So you do not like the natural colour that God gave you?”

I only looked away and walked passed her. There was no point continuing that conversation. The whole thing just got me thinking. That my parents are okay with it, and even if they weren’t, they respect the fact that I’m grown and can be responsible for my actions, so what on earth was her business?  I remember someone telling me she did not like it. Is it on your head?
Many people call my hair crazy when I twist it or carry a twist out. For Pete’s sake it’s my natural hair, it is not crazy. God was not crazy when he decided that the texture of my hair be wooly. It’s not crazy that I’m learning to take care of my natural hair and have also decided to dye it. It is not crazy that I’m not regular like that. Being different is not the same as being crazy. Another thing, if that ‘fro was something I attatched to my hair with the same colour, would have been better for her?
Ladies, it’s not okay when we insult our fellow women for the kind of hair they choose to carry. It’s not okay when we question their actions whether directly or indirectly. If they want to shave it all off, leave them, if they want to braid it rainbow, leave them. Truth is, it is their hair and their choice. If it’s truly awful, they’d see it themselves and if they do not see it, it’s also okay.
We should learn to respect the choices people make. I know as Nigerians we have a long way to go, but it would be nice if as individuals we imbibe the better attitude

Why Do You Own A Smart Device?

This write-up is specially dedicated to those people who do video coverage at occasions, but do not know the rudiments of covering an occassion; for those who use sophisticated devices and do not know what a browser is.
It’s a wonderful thing to own sophisticated devices that can do awesome stuff such as making videos and snapping photos, but I doubt that when say, Apple Inc. designed their devices they had chaos in mind. By chaos, I mean show-off. Unnecessary show-off.
These sophisticated devices were created for services beyond aggrevated show-off services of the middle class or to-be middle class. Mind you, this is not an attack on anybody, so to speak, rather an attack on a growing trend amongst a few privileged in Nigeria.
It is bad enough that our economy is, well, what it is. It is bad enough that majority of Nigerians are poor. It is bad enough that there are uprisings and insecurity everywhere. It is bad enough that my ‘It is bad enough’ list is endless, so why do you android/ipad/tablet-owning middle-class Nigerians want to add to the list of Nigeria’s problems?
Yes, Nigerians are naturally a show-off people. One person wants to out do the other. I mean I read an article where a woman observed that “The average Nigerian woman [Man] is dressed like a pop-star. Yes, even men too.
It is also bad enough and extremely sad to have observed that many, especially older people do not know how to use these things except for photographs and reading the bible. Then the younger ones for twitter, instagram and facebook.
I believe when an occassion is being held, the organisers arrange for cameramen to cover the occassion for them. It is okay though, for guests to take a few snapshots. What is not okay, is when the guest(s) become the cameraman/woman of the event, which of course is my case.
I happened to be at my cousin’s graduation July this year and it was just awful, the way the parents of the graduands walked up to the stage to take photos and make videos of the singing graduands when they were rendering their number. The performance, i suppose, was to be enjoyed by all the guests, sitted on the seats provided for by the school. These proud mothers, sisters, uncles, guardians stood up, confused the singing children, pushed the legit cameraman`to the side, flash lights everywhere, all in a bid to get a snapshot of their ward/child.
I mean, I would be proud and happy when my child is graduating, but to fool myself around like that, I wouldn’t appreciate. Thing is, at the end of the day, they were all in a struggle for a front row covering, pushing themselves and capuring their opponent’s hands or devices, instead of the faces of their children.
It is sad truly, for videos that would end up being deleted that day or even the minute they sit down.
At the time the iPad was still an uncommon jewel, a woman in my church would stand up and make video coverage of somethings, quite unnessesary, in my opinion. It’s wrong. And it is done everywhere, for every occassion. Some shy mothers will send their children to take the photo or make the videos themselves. Children who know nothing about taking good photographs or making good videos.
I also observed this in 2012, when a classmate left the examination hall for our A’level exams and entered the class to use her browser. At that time I did not have a paper. Babe did not know where the browser was and she wanted to cheat. All she knew was where the camera, photo editor and twitter was. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking selfies. It is however important to be in the know. Know things, use google, no matter how stupid your inquiry is (I’m feeling lucky) you may just find the answer. Do not wait for gossip. The world is vast and it is changing. Educate yourself, it is not too late and no one is too old to educate oneself. There’s a saying that when one has to hide something from Africans, all he had to do is put in a book. Books have become electronic and accessible and is no longer hidden, but we still hide ourselves from knowledge.
All I’m trying to say is that when we are invited as guests for an occassion, we should try to remain guests. Don’t galavant the hall in the name of taking photographs or making videos and then end up obstructing the view of those who actually want to gain something. And if you like how how the occassion had turned, then be kind and buy a copy from the appointed cameraman. This I know is the computer age, we make up the ‘Google generation’, we are millenials and everyone wants to stay relevant and up-to-date, but we truly cannot afford to distrupt the balance of events or occassions all in the bid to stay relevant.
My advice is to contact the man or woman who covered the occassion and ask him to customise the video to your liking, that is, burn the parts of the events you are intrested in and send it to your device, that is if you must have it on your device. That way, you have a clear copy that you wouldn’t just delete especially when you think about the amount you paid for it.
These devices have changed lives and brought about innovations. It’s best we use them for more useful things and not just photographs and videos.
Not everything is a show-off parade. Truly. Nonetheless, answer me this, Why do you own a smart device?

Dear Nigerians…

It’s quite unfortunate that many Nigerians have not gotten the hang of bank operations and all the technologies that come along with it. Many are uneducated unfortunately many of them would not get to read this post. I’d share it nonetheless.
Dear Nigerians BEFORE YOU USE the ATM, please:

  1. Decide in your heart, the way you decided your faith, the amount of money you want to withdraw. You can even make good use of the queue to do your contemplations. DON’T go to the machine and then begin to contemplate.
  2. It’s a machine, do not punch the bottons and pour all your frustrations on the machine
  3. Biko, please, ejo, don Allah, if you are withdrawing about a hundred thousand upwards, ENTER the bank and join the queue and make your withdrawal.
  4. Please don’t go about shouting at people using the ATM when it’s not their fault that the machine is acting up.
  5. Don’t be causing confusion anyhow and be on more than one queue.
  6. Please do not request for a reciept if you know you would just squeeze it and throw in the bin. Some people would not even look at the paper. Ladies and gents, you are wasting resources.
  7. All Nigerians are equal before the ATM. There is no big-manism. Carry your megalomania elsewhere.
  8. Don’t come and be using sentiments to get your money and go. E.g “My daughter, please let me stay in your front…”, “My son…”, e.t.c. e.t.c. We are all in a hurry too and we do not like standing too. It’s okay to allow nursing mothers and pregnant women use the ATM when they ask.
  9. Do not use your office as excuse. Members of the joint task force, police, civil defence, gbogbo e. Read number 7 again.
  10. make sure your ATM card is actually in your pocket.

Extremism in Christianity.

“The terrible immoralities are the cunning ones hiding behind the mask of morality, such as exploiting people while pretending to help them.”
– Vernon Howard.
Without going preacher on anyone reading this post, I think it’s time I aired my view on the extremism of new age/generation churches, and on preachers and their prosperity driven messages.
Now, although the Nigerian economy is the 26th largest in the world and the first in Africa, we still have a great percentage of people living in poverty. And regardless of the steady rise of the middle class, there’s still so much gap between the rich and poor. The balance of the economy has been terribly upset.
“Look how the world’s poor people are amazed at apparitions, signs and prodigies”
– William Shakepeare.
It’s easy for the weak and poor to always seek the face of God. Since they assume too many odds stacked against them. That’s why they are most gullible and are easy to pass off the excesses of ‘men of God’ as signs from God. The prosperity messages that have filled our ears these recent years have got me thinking why we even bother to serve God.
With unemployment rates at 29.5% at 2013 (thisdaylive.com) and a very non chalant government to go with it, people device get-rich schemes for daily bread.
Every damn thing is attached to a sacrifice—offering, for instance—which is why before church ends, one would have given about five different kinds of offering. You should let no one deceive you on giving sacrifices or using Abraham as a model as he gave sacrifice offerings to God for his promises. The greatest sacrifice has been paid, and that is with Jesus dying on the cross and you do not have to give God any material thing. The idea is, there’s really nothing you give to repay him for sending his own son to come and chop koboko for me and you. Except your heart and devotion. That’s all he asks for, unconditional love. A life to true God-worship.
The problem with doing dishonest work, extorting from people poor people and getting fast money is that it takes away one’s humanity. It really is the only explanation I can give as to why properity preaching churches have men of God who are very wealthy and church members that can barely feed. I am mentioning no names.
If we are to be Christ-like, then the riches of this world should matter less than is blathered about. Maybe the need to bite more than we can chew comes from the way the rich live lavishly and rub their wealth in our faces. Maybe because technology has made it easy for us to peek into the life of lavish living people and hunger for it. Let’s get in sync here, I think we should all lead comfortable lives, be able to feed and enjoy the good things in life, but it’s only better and peaceful when these things are gotten honestly.
It’s a breeze to recall Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s ‘Americanah’, and how Ifemelu refused to help with church decorations because she knew, as well as everyone, that the man they were celebrating was a thief. The church would collect his stolen money and do whatever with it and it isn’t just fiction. It’s like churches have become trade zones where the chief mode of trading is by barter system.
The ones who claim to be in touch with the father exchange their sermon goods for our money and material goods. Even from those who can barely feed. At a sermon, some time last year, the preacher told us of a said man of God who’d said God will visit the girls that wore red panties and after using fear tactics on them, he asked for money. It is also said of another, who after having a power-filled miracle and deliverance service, asked for money but only from one thousand naira and above, and so if anyone had less, they couldn’t give. What on God’s good earth is God’s business with the colour of pant that human being is wearing? Or the amount in one’s pocket? Such trivialities are not his concern. God will bless both Good and bad people. Surely the rain and sunshine and for the evil and righteous. Most times wily preachers mislead people into thinking a christian shouldn’t suffer. Who then should suffer? Even the bible says this of suffering.
“Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way to finding yourself. your true self. What kind of deal is to get everything you want but lose yourself? what could you ever trade your soul for”
Matthew 16:25-26 (The MSG)
Let no one decieve you with a fat load of cash because there’s blessing. This is where blessings lie: Remember when Jesus was at the synagogue and during collection everyone went dancing and smiling with their wealth that they cared not for and knew that they wouldn’t miss, but the old woman? The one who gave her all, whole heartedly. The littlest out of the abundance that was giving. That one, only that one pleased the Lord. Still, no one is saying because your iPhone 6 plus is very precious and you will miss it, you should give it to the church, no. Just give whatever is placed in your heart to give with a thankful and honest heart. O paari!
Men of God with private jets have become demi-gods. They run the town and we worship them. I once listened to a woman preach on TV. This woman’s message was solely about how devil runs things on earth (at least the topic said so), but this woman kept on about how she got a gift of a jeep and some bad belle people did not want her to drive it. Another time she got a gift of a car and she almost got lost. For the whole time I cared to listen, the only thing I heard was narcissm at its zenith.
Narcissm, self, self, self. Too many preachers talking about how they have to rush seminars at NY, Jamaica, Paris and Utopia all in one day. Talk about plane rides from Ethiopia to Canada to Sri Lanka from New Jersey. Wearing the best designer suits and heavy blings and rings that cost a fortune.
If Jesus’ message was self, christianity might have never survived beyond his lips. History has it that Jesus spoke about God’s kingdom and how open it is to everybody. God’s kingdom has nothing to do with race or gender, skin colour or texture of hair. God’s kingdon is not #Teamlightskin or #Teamdarkskin. God’s kingdom is not exclusive to APC or PDP members. God’s kingdom is neither socialist nor capitalist. Jesus was able to ignore the trivialities in his time to focus on getting people to love themselves and their neighbours.
“Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t be impressed with charisma, look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say.”
Matthew 7: 15-20 (The MSG)

Jesus did not come to tell us to be religious. In fact, here’s a reading: Matthew 23: 1-10. In it, Jesus warns his disciples to watch out for preachers who turn living a God-lead life into fashion shows with all the trivialities like honorary titles and being seen up high at occassions.
In my understanding, one ought to:
Love their enemies; as opposed to praying that holy ghost fire consume them. God isn’t some hitman or assasin that your hire to avenge your transgressions. No more every arrow sent to you by God-knows-who be gone back to sender in the name of Jesus. No more tit-for-tat, but living generously and graciously with one another. If Jesus was in the tit-for-tat business, y’all know you wouldn’t be reading this. We have grace, an abundance of it. Hence, the New Testament.
Pray in simplicity; as opposed to using big grammer and being boastful. Kicking and boxing the air and passing germs. You need not shout and bring down any wall of Jericho. I’ve learnt that it’s the heart that God sees and he knows our every need even before we ask. Look:
“And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God and you will see his grace. The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for nonsense.”
Live a life of God-worship; as opposed to living a life of Pastor/bishop/general-overseer/man of God-worship. They are human like us. Give them respect, but do not be foolish.
Giving generously, not for eye service. Giving from the depth of ones heart, not out of compulsion, or because there is blessing attached to giving. And we do not always have to give money enriching the ones who should help enrich us spiritually. We can give our time, our ears, our compassion.
Love. Afterall it is the greatest commandment.
Not everyone is after your prosperity. Sometimes it’s just you, other times it’s a test of faith and in time you will get what is yours.
So yeah, I accuse some churches of being extremists, all for their selfishness. Extremists because they use certain Christian principles to their own advantage, using reverse psychology fear tactics and mind games, to win the minds of people. The effect is slow death and a congregation of money loving people. A congregation of materialistic people. A broken group of people who become paranoid and think someone is against them when things don’t work their way. A people who are detached from knowing Christ and becoming better christians. A breed of people that are not God-centered.
Extremism, in both major religion Islam and Christianity begins with boju-boju people. LOL no. It begins with disgruntled people. No jobs, no food, no house and man must survive. And it’s on this fact that people are dragged and deceived.
Heaven help us.

Na Brokin be we Lingo.

Good evening, my country pipo.
Some kin tins dey my mind to talk about we country, especially our culture. Today I wan write about Brokin and how e dey bring all of us to become one for we country.
I don talk bifor sey I no believe in One Naija, sake of sey some kin kata-kata wey dey sele for we government no go let me gree. But di tin be sey Brokin don dey change the way we dey relate. Brokin dey help us wellu-well to sabi tins. E don tey the days when only ajepaco and alaye dem dey speak brokin, now even ajebo dey speak am. even for school sef, sum of us dey fire brokin. As una sabi sey no be one tribe or region get brokin, but e be like sey dem Bendel sabi di thing wellu-well sha, Chai! Brokin don grow pass the small-pikin-talk level as dem book people dey call am. E true sey English na like aradite wey dey hold us gidigba, but the real truth be sey brokin don grow as an aspect of English, con mix with di Naija lifestyle, con dey kakaraka. Mek I add sey history and popular events don con shape brokin english. Book people put brokin for one category called Creole. Creole na English-based, but Brokin just dey peculiar to Naija pipo. Today brokin na misture of Igbo o, Yoruba o, ati Ausa sef. All the lingo of Naija dey add for inside they shape am. E just dey as an aspect of Nigerian Culture wey dey evolve everyday — I wan add seh yes, we get Nigerian culture, but I go yarn una wetin I think about am.
Back to di matta.
Me I for like if brokin go dey betta small so we go dey use am for official parole. E go become we Naija lingo, we first language and we no go shame to dey speak am. Some book pipo don sidon talk sey e no go possibu. Some don sidon see the matta, analyse and reason am di wey I dey reason am. E go dey hard to reash dat level sha.
Twale to WaZoBia.FM. Dem dey foster unity for we country because dem no dey speak only one lingo favour one side. Dat na why people like to dey listen to WaZoBia. My papa and ma le like dat FM wellu-well sef. My ma le dey like the way Chinedu (Nedu) dey read dem sey- dem sey and my Papa dey like to listen to Lady G for WaZoBia Abuja. My papa belive sey Abuja WaZoBia beta pass Lagos, but that one na anoda tori.
we musicians dey try sef. see as Alobam sef don enta we brokin language. words like Skelewu, shoki, sekem. dem don transfa from dia original form con adapt to we everyday brokin. even Ausa ‘Aboki’ di real meaning no be as we dey use am, but we don shange am to di way wey we wan use am.
I go like am if dem bloggers go dey give us short-short tori for brokin, it go dey to dia advantage sef as dem go dey explore oda ways to dey write sumthing.
I for like if we go stop to dey laff pipo wey no sabi talk betta english. Na so one guy dey yarn about the time wey him see say gbagaun no funny at all. Na for Nakedconvos.com I read am. Him yarn sey:
“Na so the thing no funny when I see say even as English be the main language of obodo Nigeria, we get over 20 languages for the same time. I con see sey even with this kassala, we go dey laugh people we no fit to speak English well. We no get right to dey laugh person wey no grow for our area or wey be ajepaco The point of lingo sef na to express yoursef. Even if you read pass … and i no sabi wetin you talk, you don fail pata-pata be that.”
I go like if una visit nakedconvos.com reason with am http://thenakedconvos.com/when-gbagaun-stops-being-funny/
We get authentic Naija lingo, and we lingo na brokin aka pidgin.
If u no sabi any word, make you go naijalingo.com go search for di word o. Thank you all.

Before there was Creflo, there was Jesus Christ: the Original Recipient of Crowd Funding

Mind of Malaka

jesus donkey

It has been pretty well established that if Jesus Christ were alive today, nobody would like or follow that dude. Republicans would be so averse to his teaching that they would have denounced him as a Middle Eastern radical socialist whose only purpose is to serve as drone fodder – but that’s only if he managed to live long enough to escape Mary’s womb. Liberal Democrats like Nancy Pelosi and Bill and Melinda Gates would have done their best to convince Mary that the best course for her as an unwed, teen mom would be to abort her baby and pursue a career retailing olive oil. Given how successful Democrats have been in convincing the poor and disenfranchised that the unborn among their ranks have little to no human value, it’s safe to say that there would be no Jesus, no salvation story and no blog to entertain you today…

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Colorism: Eku Edewor’s ‘Heritage’ Photo Shoot Conundrum

Mind of Malaka

Glance at this photo. What are your immediate thoughts? Does it offend you? Why, or why not? Think about it for a second. Why are you or why aren’t you offended by this picture? Sure, it looks innocuous, but this harmlessly snapped image has had the Nigerian Twirraverse in an uproar for almost two days now, and the reasons aren’t so simple. edewo

Eku Edewor is a British-Nigerian actress, model and television presenter. It is her façade that is front and center of two controversial images that have rocked African social media this week. Her photo shoot for the cover of ThisDay Style magazine and an accompanying spread depict her leading a procession to meet her betrothed on a beach somewhere in what we presume is Nigeria. For some, these images are painful reminders of the class and color issues that Africans on the continent and in the Diaspora – not…

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