5 “Girl Things” I’m Done With

Thought Catalog

It’s about to get real unladylike up in here.


I’m done with thongs. At the tender age of 22 I am no longer willing to sacrifice my comfort for a tiny piece of fabric to rest way too close to my butthole. And for what? No panty lines? The only reason anyone cares about panty lines is because thongs exist. Besides, I’m pretty sure they make panties now that drastically reduce if not entirely diminish the appearance of these lines, so what’s the point? A friend of mine said it best: “Like thongs hurt. They make everything weird sweaty and they give you vagina wedgies.” My remaining thongs will continue to stay buried in my dresser drawer for emergencies. That emergency being every time I run out of clean underwear, in which case I would much rather go commando than wear butt floss ever again. And while we’re on…

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