An Act to prohibit wrongful dressing; to punish offenders who do not understand their fashion obligation and in the process punish the eyes of little children, tax payers, those who do not pay taxes but have been scarred for life.
- (1) This Act may be cited as Dress Code Act. (2) All dress code agreements accepted by the moral peoples of Nigeria. For clarification, dress code does not include the covering for salads and vegetables. (3) This Act shall apply to the Federation of Nigeria — Men and Women.
- In this Act, unless the context otherwise requires — “Dress” means whatever citizens of Nigeria put on to protect their personal dignity and the dignity of the eyes of little children and tax payers whose rights must be protected. Dress in this context will cover “Trousers” means Inverted V shaped piece of cloth or demin that is worn by both male and female Nigerians alike “Skirts” means Clothing specially designed for women. It is strongly percieved as womens clothing. It includes Maxi skirts, midi skirts and mini skirts (Micro-mini skirts) “Gowns” means clothing that covers all part of the human body except the human head which includes jalabia, maxi gowns, midi, gowns and mini gowns worn by men and women in their respective sense. “Shirts” means T-shirts, tops and plain shirts worn by both men and women. “Aso-ebi” means specially designed clothing material worn by friends and well-wishers of the celebrant of an occassion. “Underwear” self-explanatory because, underwear. this includes pants, bras, boxers e.t.c, e.t.c.
- This section includes a brief definition/interpretation of certain terms and concepts. “Naked” means exposing love handles and excess fat that should not be seen because the wearer is putting on ill-fitted clothing. “Sagging” means what the prisoners of America did that later turned out to a fashion mishap. “Excessive skin” means parts of the body that is overly exposed especially in formal places. “Indecent” means dressing in ways that do not fit ones body “Tax Payer” means anyone who is fit to pay tax and actually pays tax. “Children” means those who are fashion infants and know little about the dressing and look up to fashion adults for direction.
- (1) A citizen of Nigeria of a particular region, community, university, religion or political opinion shall not by reason only that he is such a person – (a) be subjected either expressely or in the practical application to put on any form of dress that doesn’t fit their body shape, body size or weight. (b) Fashion trend is no excuse to dress indecently. (2) No citizen of Nigeria shall be discriminated based on body size, weight or shape except such person is indecently dressed
- Notwithstanding decades of irresponsible dressing by those who think they are fashionably on point; and notwithstanding the rights of citizens whose eyes have been to hell and back, no person shall in the name of fashion disturb the eyes of people with their dress comBination
- It shall not count as offence to expose excessive skin in places such as night clubs — because it is night, less light, one’s home, places were little children are not exposed and places that do not affect the well being of tax payers.
- Sagging is an highly prohibited even if persons are wearing Calvin Klein.
- (1) In a wedding, friends and associates of the bride or groom who are also scouting for life partners shall do so decently in ways that do not take all the guests’ attention from the bride and groom. (2) Friends and female associates of the bride or groom shall not put on white clothing or excessively expose parts of their mammary glands or badonkadonk.
- Every citizen has the right to fashion expression and experimentation, except if such expressions lead to indecency
- Every citizen is obliged to check out fashion blogs and have fashion icons they can look up to in order to do the right thing and put country first.
- (1)A fashion tribunal shall be set up to analyse dressing especially that done by celebrities and punish offenders with their serious slanders. (2) In a situation where slander must be released, the intelligence of the offender must be protected and not subject to abuse.
- Ill fitted cloth wearers shall be forced to give out ill-fitted clothes to friends and family members better suited for it.
- excessive parts Offenders are not fit to walk around the streets that tax payers pay for.
- A rehabilitation center shall be set up to give orientation to offenders that while there is freedom to dress expressively and beautifully (Although this is not stated in Chapter IV of the constitution) and to follow fashion trends, it is a great to disturb the eyes of children and tax payers alike.
This post was inspired by Elnathan John’s Generator Use And Abuse Prevention Act, Orbit Greed Prevention Act, Smell And Share plantain Act 2015. Even though i’m sorta fooling around, it is however very important we dress decently. By decently I do not mean in the Nigerian moral context, but decently in ways that do not make people talk about ones body flaws. It is not an attack on women or people on the big side.